Today, I heard The Whisper and I couldn’t be more grateful. You know the one I’m referring to, His quiet, prodding barely audible voice that strengthens and encourages you, directing your path ever so gently.
I was driving home from my church where I volunteer with high schoolers. We’d been talking about idols and how even good things like family, friends, and serving, can become idols if they take the place of God. Pretty elementary, right? Very Christianity 101. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and then the thinking turned into praying along PCH, eyes open of course.
Lord, search my heart for those relationships that have become idols.
We’ve been in conversation about this since I recommitted my life to Him four years ago. I have a tendency to get the Mark 12:30-31 commandments backwards: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” I love to love my neighbor as myself, I really really do. But without even realizing it, my family, friends, mentees, and other relationships would take priority over Him. I’ve struggled to reconcile this tendency because it’s not inherently bad, the way other things are, but putting others before Him isn’t right. I want nothing more than what is right in His eyes.
So when idols were discussed with my high schoolers, I wanted to make sure I could even help them understand this. The last thing they need is another “adult” coming in and educating them, and I’d be a hypocrite to say I have anything figured out. So I took inventory with God. Going through the people that have come into and left my life recently, those constant friends, family members that require more of my energy, and checking each name off in a way, I felt peace.
Wait Lord, why peace and not conviction? This is when I usually get convicted, so let’s get going on that. I’m ready to get working.
Gosh, sometimes I swear God must roll His eyes at me! Instead, The Whisper came ever so quietly and I felt a pointed swelling in my chest like an arrow hitting my heart, bullseye.
I don’t know how He speaks to you, but that’s how it usually is for me, like a loving parent revealing something to their child that should’ve been obvious all along.
I’m in the right place. This is what it feels like. You’ve found the balance.
Wow. I can’t express how much this meant to me. Of course, I know this isn’t the end of struggle in my walk. I haven’t reached any finish line, and I’m far far far away from being a perfect daughter, but I felt a quiet, slight victory in it. Hearing His Whisper was like finding a trailhead marker after miles of unsure climbing. The peace was knowing that I am right where I should be, walking in step with Him. I’m right where He wants me to be, and that feels so so good.
Thank you, Lord.
Love, The Square Peg