Another book bites the dust…
Now, the trail to this piece of literature started with reality television. I’m admitting here that I have a bit of a problem with reality tv shows. I love them. Well, not all of them, but I do really enjoy watching The Real Housewives (OC, NJ, and Beverly Hills), Giuliana & Bill, and others. I know, I know it’s awful, but it is what it is. Please keep reading!
Anyway, being a reality television afficiando like me requires skills to carefully analyze and retain the information of each episode. This is how I came to be familiar with Wyatt Webb. In both The Real Housewives of New Jersey and Giuliana & Bill, the housewives and the Rancics have (at varying times) attended his Equine Experience at Miraval Resort in Tucson, Arizona. He runs an equine therapy program that helps people get to the root of their pain, stress, and fear, using horses. It’s simple really, but it involves the unspoken connection we can have with these sensitive animals, and their ability to reflect subconscious hiccups in our authenticity. I know this sounds a bit strange, but I can promise you, because of my personal experience with equine therapy (not with Webb’s program specifically), that this stuff works!
Back to the book…
After seeing him on these television shows and watching him help people get to issues they might not have been consciously aware of, I became intrigued. I researched any teachings he may have put online, and after a little digging, I came across It’s Not About The Horse: It’s About Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt, Wyatt’s biography.
This is book outlines Webb’s entire life, his personal struggles with addiction and alcoholism, his failed music career, and his personal philosophies on this crazy ride called life. It also shares some real-life examples of people finding healing through his program. This last part was what I found most helpful. It was like you were able to get Wyatt’s wisdom and guidance without having to be at Miraval (which I cannot afford).
Ten Things I Learned From Wyatt Webb:
1) Kindness given, when an outcome is expected, is manipulative. In other words, expecting to control another person’s behavior (or have a guaranteed response from them) isn’t kind at all. It’s controlling. Be kind without expectation. That is truly kind.
2) Protect and parent your traumatized child self. At one point or another, we were hurt or harmed in some way as a child. For me, it was by some middle-school bullies who attacked my weight, and yes, I can remember exactly what that hurtful moment felt like. Find that girl or boy who was traumatized in that moment, and take care of and protect him or her. Remember, you’re evidence today that you made it through that trauma.
3) We can’t “fail” at relationships. Each one we take part in is an “AFGE” or “Another Frigging Growing Experience”
4) Heal it or repeat it. Pretty self-explanatory. Heal the pain or repeat it with another person.
5) We make choices, and for each choice we make, there is either a reward or a consequence. We must take ownership of our lives and stop playing the victims.
6) Be 100% responsible for your half of a relationship. You’re not responsible for the other person’s half, just like they aren’t responsible for your half.
7) Living is only possible when you’re present.
8) Each person has his or her own answer, which cannot be found externally. Look inside and dig around.
9) We don’t have to be front-page news to add to the joy quotient of the world. Think like the extremely friendly and bright bank clerk.
And my absolute favorite…
10) Each and every person on this entire planet deals with and is motivated by two things: fear and self-doubt. It is a part of each and every interaction we have with other people.
Boom! Did your mind just get blown?! Okay maybe not, but think about it: What would your life, my life, the world look like if we internalized this truth? If we interacted with others fully aware of our mutual fear and self-doubts? I know that in my own life, the difference would be staggering. I want to do my very best to conquer that fear and squash that self-doubt!
Some of these things may seem simple or obvious or trivial, but I truly believe that we sometimes fail to see the things staring us right in the face. I needed to learn and be reminded of these things Thank you very much Mr. Webb!